wtc

Okay so here’s the question I’ve been asking myself lately….
Can you date someone but like someone else better? Even if it’s impossible to ever meet them?…bc you still know they’re out there…that there’s someone better out there…but what you have is “good” so you just keep it like that. (and no tracy this is not about Jason lol) I started talking to this guy…his name’s jack and…well, I really like him. He lives in north carolina. Yea I know. Why does this happen to me? Andrew hasn’t called since Wednesday I think but he’ll probably call tonight. But regardless the fact still remains that I don’t see me and Andrew goin anywhere. And its not that I don’t want us to, because at least he’s real to me and I know he’s a great guy…but I don’t think we’re gonna be able to see each other or talk enough to keep up a relationship. He’s beginning to seem like that dream again…something I THINK is real, but I’m not really sure bc its been so long since I’ve seen him or talked to him…I begin to wonder if I dreamt him up. I wish I could just be normal and not go looking for people to talk to who I know I’ll never meet. I’m just an idiot. I should know myself well enough to know that that’s a baaaad idea, but I do it anyway..and it makes me really happy for a while, until I have to face the facts that its pointless to stay in touch bc nothing will ever come of it. But that’s who I am…and I know its painful but I don’t want to change that for some reason. Really stupid of me huh.