Monday, December 22, 2008
m. been a while..
so a LOT of things've changed. lol... umm.... jack's wack and we haven't spoken much in the past 2 months er so (thank heavens) although he still writes me songs (i'll have to post our "ending it" conversation pretty soon, er MY ending-it conversation). Jason's home :D! and everything's great!! um tyler's supposedly bought me "all my Christmas presents" and .. ugh idk. he's so boringgggg. but see now that kinda puts ME in a bad position bc now its like i should get him a little somethin too and i definitely dont have the money or desire really. so yea. i just wish i could speed up my life to when i'm starting college. that would make things a LOT better. my phone's broken- the screen's all static. i'm still not POSITIVE ab state alTHOUGH i was playin scrabble the other day and the first letters i put down on my little piece of wood was "u" then "s" in front of it, then "m" in front of that. haha pretty cool huh. but i'm still not convinced. idk. i reeeeeally need to get back in the groove of what was my life. idk. i wanna be where i was this summer... i was so on-track and things were going so well. ha i found some old "elias-notes" the other day while i was cleanin. threw them all away. it felt nice. oh and andrew's dating some girl. yep. and i'm worried ab my parent's getting this computer cleaned and finding out ab facebook. there's just so much i'd like to change ab my life. and i havent even STARTED shopping for Christmas, even though it's like 3 days away. yea. its good. but anyway... hm wow well i guess that's the high points of my life... and i know i dont wanna wish my life away, but... things just kinda suck right now. so... i want it to get good and better.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
more jack lol
oh andrea i miss you soooooooooooooo much lol...wow today was amazing to talk to you oh my gosh i could seriously talk to you for the rest of my life haha...seriously i got a serious case of the butterflies talking to you today dont pick on me haha....your are wonderful andrea everytime i think of you i smile :-)....you know whats weird...the way my mom and dad met...my dad was from nc and my mom was from missippi...isnt that crazy haha...im not saying we are getting married tomm haha....but i can say that on safe terms that we are talking...i hope my parents go to missippi next week i really want to see you...andrea you are the most amazing girl...i mean im lucky 2 be the guy that you like...i know you listed all of those sweet reasons...but i still cant figure it out haha...i got so much in my head right now....i just want to take you to the most romantic place in missippi and sweep you off your feet..and us laugh at each others jokes....and lay down in the grass and look at gods creation.....i want to make you the happiest girl in the world :-)...and i know it seems like im moving 2 fast but i have never liked anyone like i like you right now....uhhhhhhhh jack your such a dork...andreas prob gonna be like UHHH WEIRDO ALERT WEIRDO ALERT.hahah...gah i sure hope not lol...your personality is what makes you beutiful andrea...espeacually your relationship with god....im glad that you keep god first....i mean wow what are the chances that i could meet a girl like you....please just wait for me andrea...please lol...but you have a good day at school and i will talk to you tomm okay sweetheart :-)...i miss you...please dont forget about me lol.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
unbelievable.
5:07pmAndrea so you didnt sound like your voicemail yesterday..lol
5:08pmJack well i was nervous lol
5:08pmAndrea lol whyy?you talk to me all the time lol
5:08pmJack not like voice talking lol
5:09pmAndrea voice talking lol
5:09pmJack i was afriad to make a fool out of myself and i did lol
5:09pmAndrea you sounded like a different person and no you didnt
5:09pmJack yes talking on the phone silly lolyessssssssss i did
5:09pmAndrea you were kinda out there lol but you didnt make a fool of yourself lol..i meant you sounded like a completely different person than your voice mail(which was funny by the way..your voicemail hah)
5:10pmJack well it was suppose to sound diffi was out there huh:-(
5:10pmAndrea no not like thaaatcmon cheer up
5:11pmJack but i was out there
5:11pmAndrea i'm just sayin you were pretty darn random lol but its cool. it was funny hah
5:11pmJack ohhhhhhhhhh im from another galaxy
5:11pmAndrea right lolso what did you think about ME? now that we've criticized you....my turn. lol
5:12pmJack so how about them boston celtics winning the championship loli mean they were awesome
5:13pmAndrea ughghhh. stop avoiding melolwhat? did i sound THAT bad?
5:13pmJack noooooooo loli mean you sounded wonderful haits just me.....
5:14pmAndrea brbdont leave
5:14pmJack yes ma'mm
5:15pmAndrea hey can you be on here in like...45 min ?they're callin me to go eat.but this is not over lol.i wanna know why you hesitated to tell me what you thought lol...
5:16pmJack okay lolits not you andrea its me loli swear
5:16pmAndrea oh hush thats such a lineloland whats wrong w/ you?
5:16pmJack no im serious
5:16pmAndrea whaddya mean its you?
5:17pmJack i mean i made mysef sound like an idoit yesterdayand i dont want to be like why the crap did i like this guy
5:17pmAndrea lol oh whatveryou did not.but hey can you be on later?
5:18pmJack yesssss andrea when am i not on lol
5:18pmAndrea when you're freakin internet is freakin down lolmkay well i'll talk to you in a bit :)bye jack. and stop worrying.
5:18pmJack its hard not 2 lol
5:57pmAndrea Jack is no longer online. The following was not sent:i'm back (send as a message)5:59pmJack is online.
5:59pmAndrea Jack is no longer online. The following was not sent:i'm backkk (send as a message)
6:00pmJack is online.
6:01pmAndreaJack is no longer online. The following was not sent:i'm backkk (send as a message)
6:01pmJack is online.
6:01pmAndreaJack is no longer online. The following was not sent:i'm back (send as a message)
Andrea
you're so confuuuusing lol
and i wont even get to talk to you tomorrow... :(
or the next day...
6:51pmJack
well maybe thats a good thing for you since you think our relastionship is so weir
d
6:51pmAndrea
well dont you agree?????
this isnt normally how you meet someone you potentially care ab
6:52pmJack
well then if its so weird 2 you
why are you talking to me andrea
6:52pmAndrea
do you WANT me to stop talking to you?
6:52pmJack
no thats the thing...but it seems like you do
6:52pmAndrea
i was just asking if you agreed...geez lol
aghghhh you keep sayyyin thatttt
you're very...
ughhh
lol
6:53pmJack
somthing happens i dont question
if especially if i pray about it
6:54pmAndrea
fine fien. but remember i'm a girl. i think outloud. so stop assumin every question i pose means i'm rethinking this whole thing
and what do you think God's sayin about it?
6:55pmJack
i dont know im still listening but i havent heard him tell me no
6:55pmAndrea
yea?
well...thats a good thing
6:55pmJack
andrea if you dont like or are you questioning it tell me know
6:55pmAndrea
brb
6:55pmJack
andrea no i cant
6:57pmJack
u bak
6:57pmAndrea
yea
here's the deal
from what i know about you, i like you. but i'm tryna keep in mind that i havent met you yet and i dont wanna go ahead and get all crazy ab you if later on we realize we dont click like we thought we did
i just fall really hard really fast and i dont want to get hurt again
please be understanding...
i wont ever lead you on i promse. thats why i'm bein so upfront ab all this...
but i do care about you and i think you're the greatest guy i may have ever met....but there's the thing... i havent exaclty met you yet...so i dont wanna just go on assumptions..
make sense?
7:02pmJack
why
7:02pmAndrea
why what
7:03pmJack
did i fall so hard for you
7:03pmAndrea
did you?
7:03pmJack
i dont want to talk about it
7:03pmAndrea
why?
7:03pmJack
i g2g
7:03pmAndrea
jack..
7:03pmJack
bye andrea
7:03pmAndrea
i was honest w/ you..
7:03pmJack
WHAT
ok yea
7:04pmAndrea
why wont you tell me
7:04pmJack
and i was just honest with you
7:04pmAndrea
whaddya mean you dont wanna talk ab it though
7:04pmJack
its diff when your the one telling the person to chill out or whatever
7:05pmAndrea
i'm not telling you to chill out..
7:05pmJack
its a diff story when your the guy listening to it
well maybe i need to
7:05pmAndrea
omgsh jack stop overreacting. just message me, i know you have to go..
7:05pmJack
ill try
7:11pmAndrea
you're not even bein fair
7:05pmJack
bye
7:05pmAndrea
bye
7:06pmJack
fair?
7:06pmAndrea
you keep pullin this pity party thing, when i'm just tryna be honest
7:06pmJack
what the heck andrea
7:06pmAndrea
you wanted me to tell you how i felt so i did, or would you rather i just keep it to myself and then surprise you one day
7:06pmJack
well why did you have to send me those long sweet messages then
7:06pmAndrea
bc it was TRUE
gahhh jack..
i dont say stuff i dont mean
but i'm still figurin it out
7:07pmJack
well my gosh do you think i dont either?
7:08pmAndrea
idk just... aghh. just dont assume that everytime i question things that means i dont like you
bc it doesnt
maybe i just shouldnt tell you how i feel so you dont jump to conclusions
7:09pmJack
i dont want to like somone who doesnt really like me andrea...ive had a woman who told me she was gonna break up with her husband cause she loved me...and the next day i waited for her and she didnt show up told me to get lost...and b4 that she married the guy i despised the most to make me jealous
i dont need my heart broken again andrea
7:10pmAndrea
i'm not going to break your heart. but dont get mad at me if my feelings are still developing.
but you really do need to slow down a little bit jack...
7:11pmJack
cause you cant make up your mind!
whatever im late
bye andrea
7:11pmAndrea
WAIT
AGH I'M STILL IN CAPS LOCK
7:11pmJack
whatttt
7:11pmAndrea
fine okay well
i was gonna say i havent even met you but you need to go eat so i'll talk to you later i guess....
please dont be mad at me
7:12pmJack
how many time have you said that?
7:12pmAndrea
bc its TRUE mayb?
7:13pmJack
gosh maybe if you looked outside the box
7:13pmAndrea
how can i know "for sure" if i "really like you" if i havent even met you
maybe if you started thinkin a little practically
..
7:13pmJack
you have really pissed me off andrea
7:13pmAndrea
ugh. idk i'm really sorry jack. i'm bein
7:13pmJack
i regret ever meeting you
7:13pmAndrea
i'm sorry
7:13pmJack
bye
7:13pmAndrea
are you frorea
forreal?
oh my gosh...
Jack is no longer online. The following was not sent:
that hurts jack. (send as a message)
this was....mondayish... anyway right after this i got offline bc i was pretty darn heated. and 2 seconds later he's textin me sayin what a jerk he was and could i ever forgive him and he wasn't thinkin and blahblahblah ...i'm the most amazing girl he's ever met and yadda yadda...so i told him i forgave him. and he's like...well good i'm glad that's over, i was cryin like a baby.
mmmhm. SO.. lol psycho. i'm thinkin definitely nooo. i mean i won't just completely STOP talking to him. if anything, i'll explain that he needs to go to a psychiatric ward somewhere lol jk but i KNOW how it feels to be left in the dark and no matter how crazy he's bein...no one deserves that. so yea. just an update. lol annyywayyyss..
and recently..well.. i hung out w/ michael hunter. he's a REEEEALLY nice guy. believes in germanic paganism, but nice guy. lol now NO i'm not thinking about dating or anything so calm down tracy, but we went to the park the other day after school and we had one of the best conversations i've had considering i hardly know him. he's really into theology and he was explaining how he wanted to find the truth himself rather than have it kinda...thrust upon him by parents or a church or whatever, and i respect that. i dont think anyone should believe soemthin simply because they "should." if they dont discover it for themselves, then it won't really be THEM who believes it...just the ppl who influence them. so yea. i'd really love to be able to share my beliefs with him...he even was asking me what i believed and everything but he ended up having to go to work before we finished. anyways.. thats all for now :))
5:08pmJack well i was nervous lol
5:08pmAndrea lol whyy?you talk to me all the time lol
5:08pmJack not like voice talking lol
5:09pmAndrea voice talking lol
5:09pmJack i was afriad to make a fool out of myself and i did lol
5:09pmAndrea you sounded like a different person and no you didnt
5:09pmJack yes talking on the phone silly lolyessssssssss i did
5:09pmAndrea you were kinda out there lol but you didnt make a fool of yourself lol..i meant you sounded like a completely different person than your voice mail(which was funny by the way..your voicemail hah)
5:10pmJack well it was suppose to sound diffi was out there huh:-(
5:10pmAndrea no not like thaaatcmon cheer up
5:11pmJack but i was out there
5:11pmAndrea i'm just sayin you were pretty darn random lol but its cool. it was funny hah
5:11pmJack ohhhhhhhhhh im from another galaxy
5:11pmAndrea right lolso what did you think about ME? now that we've criticized you....my turn. lol
5:12pmJack so how about them boston celtics winning the championship loli mean they were awesome
5:13pmAndrea ughghhh. stop avoiding melolwhat? did i sound THAT bad?
5:13pmJack noooooooo loli mean you sounded wonderful haits just me.....
5:14pmAndrea brbdont leave
5:14pmJack yes ma'mm
5:15pmAndrea hey can you be on here in like...45 min ?they're callin me to go eat.but this is not over lol.i wanna know why you hesitated to tell me what you thought lol...
5:16pmJack okay lolits not you andrea its me loli swear
5:16pmAndrea oh hush thats such a lineloland whats wrong w/ you?
5:16pmJack no im serious
5:16pmAndrea whaddya mean its you?
5:17pmJack i mean i made mysef sound like an idoit yesterdayand i dont want to be like why the crap did i like this guy
5:17pmAndrea lol oh whatveryou did not.but hey can you be on later?
5:18pmJack yesssss andrea when am i not on lol
5:18pmAndrea when you're freakin internet is freakin down lolmkay well i'll talk to you in a bit :)bye jack. and stop worrying.
5:18pmJack its hard not 2 lol
5:57pmAndrea Jack is no longer online. The following was not sent:i'm back (send as a message)5:59pmJack is online.
5:59pmAndrea Jack is no longer online. The following was not sent:i'm backkk (send as a message)
6:00pmJack is online.
6:01pmAndreaJack is no longer online. The following was not sent:i'm backkk (send as a message)
6:01pmJack is online.
6:01pmAndreaJack is no longer online. The following was not sent:i'm back (send as a message)
Andrea
you're so confuuuusing lol
and i wont even get to talk to you tomorrow... :(
or the next day...
6:51pmJack
well maybe thats a good thing for you since you think our relastionship is so weir
d
6:51pmAndrea
well dont you agree?????
this isnt normally how you meet someone you potentially care ab
6:52pmJack
well then if its so weird 2 you
why are you talking to me andrea
6:52pmAndrea
do you WANT me to stop talking to you?
6:52pmJack
no thats the thing...but it seems like you do
6:52pmAndrea
i was just asking if you agreed...geez lol
aghghhh you keep sayyyin thatttt
you're very...
ughhh
lol
6:53pmJack
somthing happens i dont question
if especially if i pray about it
6:54pmAndrea
fine fien. but remember i'm a girl. i think outloud. so stop assumin every question i pose means i'm rethinking this whole thing
and what do you think God's sayin about it?
6:55pmJack
i dont know im still listening but i havent heard him tell me no
6:55pmAndrea
yea?
well...thats a good thing
6:55pmJack
andrea if you dont like or are you questioning it tell me know
6:55pmAndrea
brb
6:55pmJack
andrea no i cant
6:57pmJack
u bak
6:57pmAndrea
yea
here's the deal
from what i know about you, i like you. but i'm tryna keep in mind that i havent met you yet and i dont wanna go ahead and get all crazy ab you if later on we realize we dont click like we thought we did
i just fall really hard really fast and i dont want to get hurt again
please be understanding...
i wont ever lead you on i promse. thats why i'm bein so upfront ab all this...
but i do care about you and i think you're the greatest guy i may have ever met....but there's the thing... i havent exaclty met you yet...so i dont wanna just go on assumptions..
make sense?
7:02pmJack
why
7:02pmAndrea
why what
7:03pmJack
did i fall so hard for you
7:03pmAndrea
did you?
7:03pmJack
i dont want to talk about it
7:03pmAndrea
why?
7:03pmJack
i g2g
7:03pmAndrea
jack..
7:03pmJack
bye andrea
7:03pmAndrea
i was honest w/ you..
7:03pmJack
WHAT
ok yea
7:04pmAndrea
why wont you tell me
7:04pmJack
and i was just honest with you
7:04pmAndrea
whaddya mean you dont wanna talk ab it though
7:04pmJack
its diff when your the one telling the person to chill out or whatever
7:05pmAndrea
i'm not telling you to chill out..
7:05pmJack
its a diff story when your the guy listening to it
well maybe i need to
7:05pmAndrea
omgsh jack stop overreacting. just message me, i know you have to go..
7:05pmJack
ill try
7:11pmAndrea
you're not even bein fair
7:05pmJack
bye
7:05pmAndrea
bye
7:06pmJack
fair?
7:06pmAndrea
you keep pullin this pity party thing, when i'm just tryna be honest
7:06pmJack
what the heck andrea
7:06pmAndrea
you wanted me to tell you how i felt so i did, or would you rather i just keep it to myself and then surprise you one day
7:06pmJack
well why did you have to send me those long sweet messages then
7:06pmAndrea
bc it was TRUE
gahhh jack..
i dont say stuff i dont mean
but i'm still figurin it out
7:07pmJack
well my gosh do you think i dont either?
7:08pmAndrea
idk just... aghh. just dont assume that everytime i question things that means i dont like you
bc it doesnt
maybe i just shouldnt tell you how i feel so you dont jump to conclusions
7:09pmJack
i dont want to like somone who doesnt really like me andrea...ive had a woman who told me she was gonna break up with her husband cause she loved me...and the next day i waited for her and she didnt show up told me to get lost...and b4 that she married the guy i despised the most to make me jealous
i dont need my heart broken again andrea
7:10pmAndrea
i'm not going to break your heart. but dont get mad at me if my feelings are still developing.
but you really do need to slow down a little bit jack...
7:11pmJack
cause you cant make up your mind!
whatever im late
bye andrea
7:11pmAndrea
WAIT
AGH I'M STILL IN CAPS LOCK
7:11pmJack
whatttt
7:11pmAndrea
fine okay well
i was gonna say i havent even met you but you need to go eat so i'll talk to you later i guess....
please dont be mad at me
7:12pmJack
how many time have you said that?
7:12pmAndrea
bc its TRUE mayb?
7:13pmJack
gosh maybe if you looked outside the box
7:13pmAndrea
how can i know "for sure" if i "really like you" if i havent even met you
maybe if you started thinkin a little practically
..
7:13pmJack
you have really pissed me off andrea
7:13pmAndrea
ugh. idk i'm really sorry jack. i'm bein
7:13pmJack
i regret ever meeting you
7:13pmAndrea
i'm sorry
7:13pmJack
bye
7:13pmAndrea
are you frorea
forreal?
oh my gosh...
Jack is no longer online. The following was not sent:
that hurts jack. (send as a message)
this was....mondayish... anyway right after this i got offline bc i was pretty darn heated. and 2 seconds later he's textin me sayin what a jerk he was and could i ever forgive him and he wasn't thinkin and blahblahblah ...i'm the most amazing girl he's ever met and yadda yadda...so i told him i forgave him. and he's like...well good i'm glad that's over, i was cryin like a baby.
mmmhm. SO.. lol psycho. i'm thinkin definitely nooo. i mean i won't just completely STOP talking to him. if anything, i'll explain that he needs to go to a psychiatric ward somewhere lol jk but i KNOW how it feels to be left in the dark and no matter how crazy he's bein...no one deserves that. so yea. just an update. lol annyywayyyss..
and recently..well.. i hung out w/ michael hunter. he's a REEEEALLY nice guy. believes in germanic paganism, but nice guy. lol now NO i'm not thinking about dating or anything so calm down tracy, but we went to the park the other day after school and we had one of the best conversations i've had considering i hardly know him. he's really into theology and he was explaining how he wanted to find the truth himself rather than have it kinda...thrust upon him by parents or a church or whatever, and i respect that. i dont think anyone should believe soemthin simply because they "should." if they dont discover it for themselves, then it won't really be THEM who believes it...just the ppl who influence them. so yea. i'd really love to be able to share my beliefs with him...he even was asking me what i believed and everything but he ended up having to go to work before we finished. anyways.. thats all for now :))
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
the talk
Andrea
its not that i dont want it to, bc i like you more than i've liked anyone ...really ever. but...that doesnt mean this is practical
or even POSSIBLE..
soadijfoiasemflkasmefoi
i've never even heard your voice..
1:31pmJack
well if you just want to give up on it fine
your deccision
1:31pmAndrea
i'm not giving up..
1:32pmJack
then what are you doing andrea?
1:32pmAndrea
i'm just...idk...thinking outloud...
what makes you even think this is possible??
i'm SEVENTEEN.
i havent even GRADUATED
arent you just a little doubtfull...
1:33pmJack
good lord andrea did you hear me say hey lets get married?
1:33pmAndrea
no
i'm just sayin...
ahh forget it.
1:33pmJack
well this is what im saying
gods timing is always perfect
its never 2 slow
its never 2 fast
if god doesnt want this 2 work out he'll let us know
andrea i have lived with doubt my whole entire life...all that people in my family and my friends have doubted me
1:35pmAndrea
but how would i even know if he was tryna say it shouldnt work...there's already plennnnttty of obstacles in the way...
and i'm not doubting you...just the situation..
like...okay...even if i were to tell my parents...they're NOT gonna be happy and they PROBABLY wouldnt' let me talk to you after they found otu..
i've been through this before...well having to deal with them finding out ab somethin like this...and ...it was the worst experience ever...i couldn't have contact with ANYONE i talked to on that website...
i'm just scared of what will happen, thats all
1:38pmJack
so you have looked possible all the bad things and what worse that can happen..all the downfalls.
but
have you took time to all the good that can happen
1:40pmAndrea
yes. i have.
1:42pmAndrea
...
1:42pmJack
ohh
1:43pmAndrea
h/o..
1:43pmJack
k
1:43pmAndrea
...
so..
1:43pmJack
so its pretty obvious you've made up your mind
1:44pmAndrea
no i ahvent
stop assuming
i'm not just giving up
its not as easy as you think
1:46pmJack
andrea what the heck are you talking about then...you could of written a novel that could of been called "Why not to have a long distance relationship with Jack Mclaurin"
1:46pmAndrea
omgsh what do i do then?
i'm TRYYYING...
1:46pmJack
you act you dont want to........
1:46pmAndrea
jack i DO.
seriously
you're bein so negative...i'm just tryna figure this out. i'm a girl remember
just tell me what to do.
but i feel like crap bc i feel like you think i'm just tryna blow you off and its not like that at all...
you're not the only one who's goin crazy here
1:50pmJack
no you are andrea...your so scared what could go wrong ive been the worse places in my life so addicted to weed and alchol i couldnt stop i would be so blazed in my room and i would pour down tears....but stop foucusing on whats the worse that can happen and if you say it will never work...well if you say that long enough it never will
1:52pmAndrea
okay. ...okay. i'm thinkin positive. now how is that really helpin anything? i mean...unless you're just fed up and wanna forget about it, i still want to try, i'm jst tryna figure out HOW
1:53pmJack
well unless you want to make up a ridickulous story
1:53pmAndrea
hit me with it
my imagination's shot right now
1:53pmJack
have you 2 any past events out side of missispii
1:54pmAndrea
i went to a camp in toccoa ga this past summer..
1:55pmAndrea
Jack is no longer online. The following was not sent:
?
1:55pmJack
okay listen this what you'll do
1:56pmAndrea
listening..
1:58pmJack
okay well one day when you get your min up lol...youll call me and go wherever your parents are and make it obvious your talking to a guy...i mean realllllly obvious call out my name a few times...and theyre gonna be like
andreaaaaaaaa
who are you talking to?
oh jack mom i met him at that camp i went to a georgia he's a really great christian guy
and then you carry on from there
1:59pmAndrea
mkay well there's some minor problems there but i get what you mean..
2:01pmAndrea
like i cant talk on my cell phone, bc i'm on a minute plan...i get 20 dollars per 3 months...18 cents a minute, 5 cents a text. yea i know.. i hate it. i know it probably seems like i just keep tryna crush your ideas...but i'm not i promise, i'm just makin sure you understand
so the cell phone's out except for occasional texting, and home phone's out bc i cant just out of the blue call a guy from camp several months ago
BUT...
2:02pmJack
well okay another idea
2:02pmAndrea
jack...do you like me?
2:02pmJack
yes andrea i like you alot
2:03pmAndrea
you're sure...
2:03pmJack
andrea let me tell you somthing
and then you
will know if im sure
well mrs. andrea...you asked me if i was sure i liked you...well heres the truth. I had prayed to god to send me a girl who was funny and sarcastic as me and who had a passion for god. And when i met you, you litterally lit up my world and i know you think im crazy but its true...no im not in love with you. God put you in my life for a reason. Whats not to like about you, beautiful, funny, cute,your sarcasim, and your so not boring lol....when i talk to i feel like i can be myself and thats hard for me 2 do in front of people...i dont know why i like you so much, but i do and i think why im so attracted to you is that your so in love with god and your so easy to talk to...i have to try to make this work, because i dont want to look back and regret would could of been. we got somthing here andrea, and we shouldnt give on it yet..and to answer you question..yes andrea lynn i really really really really really like you alot :-)
its not that i dont want it to, bc i like you more than i've liked anyone ...really ever. but...that doesnt mean this is practical
or even POSSIBLE..
soadijfoiasemflkasmefoi
i've never even heard your voice..
1:31pmJack
well if you just want to give up on it fine
your deccision
1:31pmAndrea
i'm not giving up..
1:32pmJack
then what are you doing andrea?
1:32pmAndrea
i'm just...idk...thinking outloud...
what makes you even think this is possible??
i'm SEVENTEEN.
i havent even GRADUATED
arent you just a little doubtfull...
1:33pmJack
good lord andrea did you hear me say hey lets get married?
1:33pmAndrea
no
i'm just sayin...
ahh forget it.
1:33pmJack
well this is what im saying
gods timing is always perfect
its never 2 slow
its never 2 fast
if god doesnt want this 2 work out he'll let us know
andrea i have lived with doubt my whole entire life...all that people in my family and my friends have doubted me
1:35pmAndrea
but how would i even know if he was tryna say it shouldnt work...there's already plennnnttty of obstacles in the way...
and i'm not doubting you...just the situation..
like...okay...even if i were to tell my parents...they're NOT gonna be happy and they PROBABLY wouldnt' let me talk to you after they found otu..
i've been through this before...well having to deal with them finding out ab somethin like this...and ...it was the worst experience ever...i couldn't have contact with ANYONE i talked to on that website...
i'm just scared of what will happen, thats all
1:38pmJack
so you have looked possible all the bad things and what worse that can happen..all the downfalls.
but
have you took time to all the good that can happen
1:40pmAndrea
yes. i have.
1:42pmAndrea
...
1:42pmJack
ohh
1:43pmAndrea
h/o..
1:43pmJack
k
1:43pmAndrea
...
so..
1:43pmJack
so its pretty obvious you've made up your mind
1:44pmAndrea
no i ahvent
stop assuming
i'm not just giving up
its not as easy as you think
1:46pmJack
andrea what the heck are you talking about then...you could of written a novel that could of been called "Why not to have a long distance relationship with Jack Mclaurin"
1:46pmAndrea
omgsh what do i do then?
i'm TRYYYING...
1:46pmJack
you act you dont want to........
1:46pmAndrea
jack i DO.
seriously
you're bein so negative...i'm just tryna figure this out. i'm a girl remember
just tell me what to do.
but i feel like crap bc i feel like you think i'm just tryna blow you off and its not like that at all...
you're not the only one who's goin crazy here
1:50pmJack
no you are andrea...your so scared what could go wrong ive been the worse places in my life so addicted to weed and alchol i couldnt stop i would be so blazed in my room and i would pour down tears....but stop foucusing on whats the worse that can happen and if you say it will never work...well if you say that long enough it never will
1:52pmAndrea
okay. ...okay. i'm thinkin positive. now how is that really helpin anything? i mean...unless you're just fed up and wanna forget about it, i still want to try, i'm jst tryna figure out HOW
1:53pmJack
well unless you want to make up a ridickulous story
1:53pmAndrea
hit me with it
my imagination's shot right now
1:53pmJack
have you 2 any past events out side of missispii
1:54pmAndrea
i went to a camp in toccoa ga this past summer..
1:55pmAndrea
Jack is no longer online. The following was not sent:
?
1:55pmJack
okay listen this what you'll do
1:56pmAndrea
listening..
1:58pmJack
okay well one day when you get your min up lol...youll call me and go wherever your parents are and make it obvious your talking to a guy...i mean realllllly obvious call out my name a few times...and theyre gonna be like
andreaaaaaaaa
who are you talking to?
oh jack mom i met him at that camp i went to a georgia he's a really great christian guy
and then you carry on from there
1:59pmAndrea
mkay well there's some minor problems there but i get what you mean..
2:01pmAndrea
like i cant talk on my cell phone, bc i'm on a minute plan...i get 20 dollars per 3 months...18 cents a minute, 5 cents a text. yea i know.. i hate it. i know it probably seems like i just keep tryna crush your ideas...but i'm not i promise, i'm just makin sure you understand
so the cell phone's out except for occasional texting, and home phone's out bc i cant just out of the blue call a guy from camp several months ago
BUT...
2:02pmJack
well okay another idea
2:02pmAndrea
jack...do you like me?
2:02pmJack
yes andrea i like you alot
2:03pmAndrea
you're sure...
2:03pmJack
andrea let me tell you somthing
and then you
will know if im sure
well mrs. andrea...you asked me if i was sure i liked you...well heres the truth. I had prayed to god to send me a girl who was funny and sarcastic as me and who had a passion for god. And when i met you, you litterally lit up my world and i know you think im crazy but its true...no im not in love with you. God put you in my life for a reason. Whats not to like about you, beautiful, funny, cute,your sarcasim, and your so not boring lol....when i talk to i feel like i can be myself and thats hard for me 2 do in front of people...i dont know why i like you so much, but i do and i think why im so attracted to you is that your so in love with god and your so easy to talk to...i have to try to make this work, because i dont want to look back and regret would could of been. we got somthing here andrea, and we shouldnt give on it yet..and to answer you question..yes andrea lynn i really really really really really like you alot :-)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
jack.
"andrea tonite was amazing :-).....i have to say somthing though..i know we just met and you prob are thinking im a stalker....but you are the most amazing girl i have ever met in my life...youre funny, sarcastic, sweet, gorgeous, your personality makes you so beautiful and what impresses me more about you is your relationship with god...i have never found a girl who was like that...i know you prob dont think the same way...im not gonna go into stalker zone and say i love you okay lol cause i havent even met you yet haha...but for some reason i like you alot and i havent even known you that long...i click with you for some reason...i always thought i was too weird or random for girls and talking to you just makes me feel special sooo yea i hope you hade a good nites sleep im sure gonna need it haha....but hopefully you will talk to me if this message doesnt freak you out haha..but i will talk to you tomm okay :-)...bye andreaa"
along with everything else we've talked about and how EASY it is to talk to him and the fact that he has a super close relationship with Christ....how can i possibly just forget about this guy? i mean, i'm not trying to pursue anything bc right now there'd be no point in it, but .... i see no reason for me to act like this never happened. bc it did. and what if ...yknow you just never know. i dont wanna pass up something that could be ....well... i mean what if we get married one day. i mean who's to say we weren't meant to be, and this was just the way we happened to meet. i know it sounds stupid, and it is kind of ...but i'm not hurtin anything by getting to know him. and at least i dont have to worry about how he feels about me...which is normally the case- i fall for someone and THEN i have to deal with the fact that he hasn't caught up with my feelings as fast as he maybe should have....but see...here...i do believe he's a bit ahead of me...which i've never really found in a guy. and maybe that's creepy to some people, but i think it's really attractive that he is able to tell how he feels after not knowing me very long. guys aren't assertive anymore...dont know if anyone's noticed. but anyway....for now, of course i'm keepin my options open, but i do think i like him. and that's just how i am. and i'm okay with that. i know i may be settin myself up, but it IS different this time, maybe not by much, but by what i think matters most...being open and honest about your feelings. so we're starting from a new perspective this time, and maybe it'll end up where all the others do, but all i know is that it doesn't hurt to give it a try. so for now i'm still talkin to him and we'll see what happens....
Saturday, September 6, 2008
wtc
Okay so here’s the question I’ve been asking myself lately….
Can you date someone but like someone else better? Even if it’s impossible to ever meet them?…bc you still know they’re out there…that there’s someone better out there…but what you have is “good” so you just keep it like that. (and no tracy this is not about Jason lol) I started talking to this guy…his name’s jack and…well, I really like him. He lives in north carolina. Yea I know. Why does this happen to me? Andrew hasn’t called since Wednesday I think but he’ll probably call tonight. But regardless the fact still remains that I don’t see me and Andrew goin anywhere. And its not that I don’t want us to, because at least he’s real to me and I know he’s a great guy…but I don’t think we’re gonna be able to see each other or talk enough to keep up a relationship. He’s beginning to seem like that dream again…something I THINK is real, but I’m not really sure bc its been so long since I’ve seen him or talked to him…I begin to wonder if I dreamt him up. I wish I could just be normal and not go looking for people to talk to who I know I’ll never meet. I’m just an idiot. I should know myself well enough to know that that’s a baaaad idea, but I do it anyway..and it makes me really happy for a while, until I have to face the facts that its pointless to stay in touch bc nothing will ever come of it. But that’s who I am…and I know its painful but I don’t want to change that for some reason. Really stupid of me huh.
Can you date someone but like someone else better? Even if it’s impossible to ever meet them?…bc you still know they’re out there…that there’s someone better out there…but what you have is “good” so you just keep it like that. (and no tracy this is not about Jason lol) I started talking to this guy…his name’s jack and…well, I really like him. He lives in north carolina. Yea I know. Why does this happen to me? Andrew hasn’t called since Wednesday I think but he’ll probably call tonight. But regardless the fact still remains that I don’t see me and Andrew goin anywhere. And its not that I don’t want us to, because at least he’s real to me and I know he’s a great guy…but I don’t think we’re gonna be able to see each other or talk enough to keep up a relationship. He’s beginning to seem like that dream again…something I THINK is real, but I’m not really sure bc its been so long since I’ve seen him or talked to him…I begin to wonder if I dreamt him up. I wish I could just be normal and not go looking for people to talk to who I know I’ll never meet. I’m just an idiot. I should know myself well enough to know that that’s a baaaad idea, but I do it anyway..and it makes me really happy for a while, until I have to face the facts that its pointless to stay in touch bc nothing will ever come of it. But that’s who I am…and I know its painful but I don’t want to change that for some reason. Really stupid of me huh.
that tickley feeling :)
I loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove this weather. Love it love it LOVE it. I wish it were always like this. There’s something about autumn that just…idk overcomes you with excitement. I don’t know if it’s the clear blue sky and all the beautiful fall colors …the leaves falling…the geese…the nippy air that’s just cold enough for a light jacket…its perfect. I want to be OUT IN IT …I wanna go to the park with someone and just walk around the lake and swing on the swings…and hike the trail in the afternoon. I wanna go to the FAIR! But thanks to idiot liberty land owner now we have the “delta stupid fair” which is NOT the same. Idiots. But anyway….that’s what I wanna do. Oh I love it so much!!! I want to freeze the point in time so badly.
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