m. been a while..

so a LOT of things've changed. lol... umm.... jack's wack and we haven't spoken much in the past 2 months er so (thank heavens) although he still writes me songs (i'll have to post our "ending it" conversation pretty soon, er MY ending-it conversation). Jason's home :D! and everything's great!! um tyler's supposedly bought me "all my Christmas presents" and .. ugh idk. he's so boringgggg. but see now that kinda puts ME in a bad position bc now its like i should get him a little somethin too and i definitely dont have the money or desire really. so yea. i just wish i could speed up my life to when i'm starting college. that would make things a LOT better. my phone's broken- the screen's all static. i'm still not POSITIVE ab state alTHOUGH i was playin scrabble the other day and the first letters i put down on my little piece of wood was "u" then "s" in front of it, then "m" in front of that. haha pretty cool huh. but i'm still not convinced. idk. i reeeeeally need to get back in the groove of what was my life. idk. i wanna be where i was this summer... i was so on-track and things were going so well. ha i found some old "elias-notes" the other day while i was cleanin. threw them all away. it felt nice. oh and andrew's dating some girl. yep. and i'm worried ab my parent's getting this computer cleaned and finding out ab facebook. there's just so much i'd like to change ab my life. and i havent even STARTED shopping for Christmas, even though it's like 3 days away. yea. its good. but anyway... hm wow well i guess that's the high points of my life... and i know i dont wanna wish my life away, but... things just kinda suck right now. so... i want it to get good and better.